Country Humor
When bad times are good
by Jack S. Bray
I hope you’re not too busy to hear a little good news. For once, segments of the economy—this time not agriculture— seem to be leading the charge into what looks like a national recession. Triggered by the “sub-prime” housing debacle, first one, then another financial institution has fallen on hard times.
But most of agriculture is thriving. Last year, producers gathered all-time records of most major crops and now are selling those crops for record (or near record) prices.
That news would be even better if it didn’t cost so much to raise the stuff.
Outside of agriculture, though, the wobbly U.S. economy is at the top of everyone’s worry list. The nation is involved in a two-front war, but except for people who have loved ones in harm’s way in Afghanistan or Iraq, the war seldom pops into mind. Hot-button issues of a few months back, such as Islamic terrorism and illegal immigration, have been pushed to the back burner as the jittery economy commands front-and-center attention. This being the year of the quadrennial marathon to see who gets to live in the White House, most Americans are looking for some latter-day Moses to lead us through the financial underbrush into an economic Promised Land.
One of the bright spots for agriculture is exports. The weakening U.S. dollar in relation to most other currencies means our goods are relatively cheaper to foreign buyers. And they are buying. In those countries, such as India and the Philippines, where Norman Borlaug’s Green Revolution was driven by dwindling supplies of edible grains, a new “Livestock Revolution” is driven by those same people whose incomes and standards of living have them eating much higher on the hog, and they are buying a lot of the hogs from us.
Rising affluence in the developing world has allowed low- and middle-income people to include more meat, eggs and dairy products in their diets. In China, for example, per capita meat consumption has increased by 50 percent in less than 20 years.
But (there’s always a “but”) people like the Chinese have proven to be shrewder traders than us Yankees. China now holds about 1.3 trillion U.S. dollars in export credits. That means China has sold us $1.3 trillion more shoes, toys and T-shirts than they have bought from us in corn, wheat, soybeans and animal products. In effect, we Americans owe every Chinese man, woman and child about $1,000. And a cheaper dollar also means that everything we have to buy from overseas (notably petroleum) is significantly higher in dollars. Add to that the fact that the U.S. hasn’t built a new oil refinery since Elvis was alive and it’s easy to see that fuel prices won’t be on the way down for a while.
Still, ag commodity prices have increased faster than the price of crude oil. Despite a record-large 2007 corn crop, corn prices posted increases in nearly every month last year and started 2008 at record highs. We had shaky starts in some areas as this year’s crop went in the ground, but if the weather behaves for the rest of the growing season, this should be another good production year—and there’s no sign that demand is slacking off.
Our big problem for the next few years may be producing enough to meet that demand, and that’s not bad, as farm problems go.
Profits of a moving house
by Mitch Jayne
“One question before I take you out to see this bargain acreage . . . are you afraid of water moccasins?”
When I first retired from the Dillards, the Bluegrass music group that took me to Los Angeles—and a job on the Andy Griffith Show—I came back to Missouri in the California motor home I had driven to jobs for 10 years.
I should explain why an Ozark hillbilly would bring a 38-foot house on wheels to Missouri’s steep Ozarks. First of all, I had finally paid for it after 100,000 miles and, second, everything we owned was in it. Motor homes were expensive ways to travel even back then, cranky things that got 8 miles to the gallon (with a tail wind) and added household expenses to the simple costs of a vehicle. They lived up to their name, adding up to a mortgage and the constant upkeep of a traveling house. But, they sure beat airplanes for taking handy stuff with you when you traveled, like the big bass fiddle I played for a living back then, a deer rifle, a typewriter, clothes for every climate and a wife.
Putting most of these on an airplane was next to impossible and bringing my wife doubled the fare. Also, I had used up all my flying luck in the Navy years back and was extra fond of the ground. What I discovered in motor homes was the pleasure of seeing America while you crossed it, stopping at pretty places, cooking your own meals. Besides, you could hunt and fish on the way and listen to the way people talked in other places. One time in Georgia (“Jawja” to natives), I stopped on the way to Atlanta to re-fuel the two 40-gallon gas tanks, and when I couldn’t get the pump to work, the lady in charge said over the loudspeaker, “Prayuss the yallah leevah at whyste lay-val.” She meant press the yellow button by my belt buckle, but she had to come out and do it herself—because I didn’t speak Jawjun. Listening to her, however, was worth the stop.
Traveling by motor home was cheap and educational. Gas was a buck a gallon and wherever you went, there you were. You also became mechanic and maintenance man, troubleshooter for home problems, roofer and record keeper with tax expertise thrown in.
Last week, I was telling this to a farmer friend as we both watched one of these monsters park across from the grocery store, with the diesel complaining noisily while a woman got out to go shopping. “With the price of gas these days,” I commented, “and at 8 miles to the gallon, those folk’s travel money won’t last till it’s gone.”
“Well, it’s like farming,” said my old friend thoughtfully. “My tractor gets about the same mileage, and all I do is put that diesel back into the same piece of ground.”
He grinned, “That old boy is lookin’ at the scenery I plow. Looks like one of us should get a rebate!”
Trust the Ozarks for wild ideas.
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