Country Humor
Unsolicited advice? Indeed
by Jack S. Bray 
As the writer, I seldom address what might be called serious self-help topics. For one thing, I’ve always figured that other people get all the self-help advice they can use from wives and mothers-in-law. For another, I siphon off most of that kind of advice for myself, just trying to cope with my own flaws and imperfections.
But, I may have missed several opportunities to perform needful public services. I will try to rectify that shortcoming this month by passing along resolutions for several classes of people:
ECONOMISTS: Back in 1948, when Harry Truman was putting together his cabinet, he announced that he was looking for a one-armed economist to head up the Council of Economic Advisors. “All of the economists I have met are always saying, on the one hand this, but on the other hand that,” said Mr. Truman. “I want a one-armed economist to lead the Council.”
Economists are still at it. Economists should resolve to start making their predictions, prognostications and flat-out guesses in simple, straightforward language; at least as long as conditions continue to continue, as they always have.
BUREAU OF LAND MANAGEMENT: All BLM employees should be required to take a refresher course on the basics of western land management so they understand that the vast majority of grazing lands are unsuitable for any other purpose. While they’re in school, those employees might also benefit from a guest lecture by an ECONOMIST (above) so they will no longer send ranchers grazing fee bills that might be mistaken for ransom notes.
AG LENDERS: Now that most signs show the lending business to be marginally better, lenders should do all they can to make money easier for good borrowers to get. A start would be to cut down the paperwork. This would not only make borrowers happy, it would also reduce the risks of a multi-million-dollar liability lawsuit should the unthinkable happen—such as a loan application accidentally falling on a borrower’s toe.
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS: Government employees should remember that common folks possess a fair amount of common sense. Product safety officials could abandon the more simple-minded safety labels, such as those that read, “Best When Kept Frozen,” on popsicles. Or the tag on the seat of a 150-h.p. tractor that says, “Should not be operated by blind children under age 5.”
MEMBERS OF CONGRESS: Our congressional leaders should re-affirm that their votes are not for sale, nor even for rent on a short-term lease. At the very least, legislators should try to conduct their private and public affairs in such a way that their pictures do not show up on the wall at the Post Office.
I doubt that many of these resolutions are adopted by those mentioned above. But I plan to watch for signs that they may be having some effect, and if the signs are favorable, I have another couple bushels of good advice to pass along.
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